Richard Wright and Eudora Welty

Rw: Germany and Argentina are playing on Friday.
Ew: Germany's going to win that one.
Rw: Are you getting up? Will you get me a beer?
Ew: I'm not getting up.
Rw: Are you mad for some reason?
Ew: No.
Rw: ...
Ew: Hey, here's that kid coming up the steps.

Knock Knock

Rw: I'll get it. (opens door) Hey, man. How's it goin?
Jay: Hey, are yall watching the World Cup?
Rw: Yeah, come on in.
JL: Cool. (Lugs wheeled cooler behind him toward kitchen).
Ew: Hey how many of those do you have? Give me one.

(Jay gives Miller Light to Eudora, puts cooler in kitchen, then joins the other two in front of the tv.)

Rw: Brazil is unbeatable. Ronaldo is unbeatable. Just watch the way he moves.
Ew: Yeah, but they're playing Ghana.
JL: You got plans for the fourth?

Knock Knock

(Richard gets up and looks behind the curtain)

Rw: It's Frank Melton.

(Jay hides his beer)

Ew: Don't do that, don't do that. We are watching the World Cup in my home and there is nothing wrong with having a beer. Richard, let him in. (Richard lets him in)
FM: Hi Richard, hi Jay, Miss Welty.
Ew: Well hey Frank.
FM: Hi Miss Welty. Are you watching the World Cup?
Ew: Yes, come on in. Have a seat.

(Jay shakes his head at Eudora)

FM: I don't have cable so I can't get it. (Sits down) Brazil will win this one for sure. Brazzilliamundo.
Rw: Hey Frank, watch Ronaldo. He puts this spin on it and it bends it.
FM: Ronaldo is a smalldo. Hey Miss Welty, you got a kangaroo in your yard!
Ew: What? A kangaroo!

(Jay shakes his head again at Eudora)

Ew: Oh. Well. That's good Frank. We like kangaroos.
FM: Kangarootetoos. Hey did you hear there were 82 arrests on the Bogue Chitto?
JL: So, what are you doing on the fourth? Who's having a cookout? Eudora, lets have it at your house this year.

(Tires screech outside, footsteps, the door is thrown open, a large man yells)

FRANK!

(Frank jumps up, does a karate chop, runs out the door, tires screech again, Jay downs his beer)

JL: Whew.
Ew: I think that's a good idea Jay. We'll have the fourth over here.

The three have drinks and talk and watch Brazil v. Ghana for a while. Then, after about thirty minutes, a voice comes from the window, and there is a shadow behind the curtain.

Voice: Heeeyyyyy Eee Dubya. Heeeyyyyy Eee Dubya.

(Richard pulls back the curtain and there is a stuffed kangaroo sticking up over the windowsill)

Voice: Heeeyyyyy Eee Dubya.

(the kangaroo hops down the windowsill and you can see the hand holding it)

JL: Ignore it. Richard. Just ignore him. He'll go away.
Rw: Frank! We know it's you Frank.
Voice: Heeeyyyyy Eee Dubya. I'm a kangaroo. I'm a kangaroo in your yard.

(the kangaroo continues to hop, but Richard lets the curtain fall back.)

Ew: What are we going to do about him?

I've learned how to post pictures

And what fun it promises.

Question

In my spare time today I was thinking about the rankings of things, and I was trying to come up things that use the numbers 1-10 as their highest rank. I couldn't come up with anything for 6-10, at least to my satisfaction. And I didn't come up with anything for 3, to my satisfaction, yet I know it's as big as a house.

1. Defcon 1. The highest defense readiness.
2. Thumbs up.
3. ? (piece suit, tick tac toe, triathalon) these aren't rankings.
4. Star hotel, restaurant
5. Cat hurricane or tornado.

Wallace Stevens vs. Steve Jobs

Anecdote of the Jar

I placed a jar in Tennessee
And round it was, upon a hill.
It made the slovenly wilderness
Surround that hill.

The wilderness rose up to it,
And sprawled around, no longer wild.
The jar was round upon the ground
And tall and of a port in air.

It took dominion everywhere.
The jar was gray and bare.
It did not give of bird or bush,
Like nothing else in Tennessee.

Anecdote of the iBook

I placed an iBook in my apartment
And square it was, upon my desk.
It made the slovenly room
Surround that desk.

The room rose up to it,
And spralled around, no longer clean.
The iBook was square upon my desk
And flat and it had an AirPort.

It took dominion everywhere.
The iBook was white and spare.
It did not give of book or whataburger bag,
Like nothing else in the apartment.

The month of steaks

It has been a month. What have I discovered? I have discovered the best sleeping position for a bachelor with a queen sized bed and two pillows. Here it is:
1. Take the pillows, lay them flat at the head of the bed, but instead of the traditional horizontal rotation, rotate them vertical. They are still flat, but they are not touching. They are in "up and down" position.
2. Push the tops of the pillows together until they "kiss". The "kiss" position has only the top inner corners of the pillows touching.
3. Now when you lie down, you put your neck over the "lips" of the kissing pillows.
4. Raise your right arm and cluch the "hat" of the pillow on your right. Your elbow will be bent, and also your wrist will be bent.
5. Your left arm lies flat underneath the pillow to your left (the constrast between right arm over pillow and left arm under pillow is essential).
6. Now slightly bend your left leg and rotate that foot 45 degrees. The right leg stays straight. Cover is optional.

I suggest you print this out and take it with you into the bed if you intend to try this. It is how I have slept for the last month.

Ballad of Frank Melton

When Frank Melton was a boy, he helped his grandmother in the garden. One day he was picking butterbeans a few rows behind his grandmother, and a snake poked it's head through the leaves. It said:

"Frank Melton, follow me Frank Melton. Stop pickin those butter beans, and follow me. I wanna show you somethin."

Little Frank stared at it. He said. "I ain't followin no devil. You just go on back, cause I already knows you the devil."

"I aint no devil Frank Melton. I'm snake. I'm a snake Frank Melton. Put that bucket down. I wanna show you somethin."

Frank grabbed the snake by the neck and pulled it out of the vines. "I told you mean ole devil, but you ain't gone listen. I'm gone teach you. I'm gone clean you up." Frank took the snake and tied it up to a tree limb and finished helping his grandmother. His grandmother asked him: Was that the devil? Frank said yes mam, and asked her what he could do to teach the devil to behave.

She said: "You caint fix that devil, but if you take him by the tail and slig him round and round your head, he'll give you three wishes." Frank went over and untied the snake. He grabbed it by the tail and slung it in a circle around his head. "Lemme go Frank Melton. Quit it quit it! Lemme goh,woh,woh,woh", the snake yelled. Then Frank's grip slipped and the snake flew threw the air toward his grandmother. She screamed. The snake landed in her hair and dug into it. The snake said:

"Frank Melton, I'm gonna bite your grandmamma if you don't do what I say. You hear?"

"Alright Devil. Alright Devil."

"You can't live here in Texas no more. You too much a cowboy. You got to leave right now."

"Alright Devil. But one day I'm gone find you again. And I'm gone sling you around my head and you gone let me back in Texas. You hear devil. You caint keep a cowboy outta Texas and that is the bottom line."

"Git on Frank Melton."

Well the rest is history. Frank still lives in Texas and spends a lot of time there, so he basically lied to the devil, but hey, it's the devil.

oahaahhhaaaoaahhaaaaa

I know you're tired of hearing about my dreams, and frankly I'm tired of mentioning them, because I don't like hearing them any more than you do. But this one I've got to tell you because, well, you'll see. It was at the edge of the woods, and me and Robert Redford were sitting on a picnic table talking. I remember telling him that the end of The Natural is the only part in a movie that makes me cry. He was sort of surprised, but happy. Then he got up and went over to a tree that had a rope hanging from a limb. He started swinging. I noticed that it had two ropes. So I went over and started swinging (ps I did this a lot in first grade in my best friends back yard). So we swing. He climbs up the rope. I climb up the rope. Then we climb around in the tree. NOTHING HAPPENS. I know what you're thinking. But then he loses his grip and falls about forty feet smack dab on his head. The dream is over soon after that. Okay. Now real life. The next day I take a quick lunch and spend the rest of the lunch hour at Borders, browsing. I pick up a book called Cinematic Storytelling. I'm flipping through it, and swear to god, what do I see there but the following: a picture of Robert Redford, smiling, leaning his arm against a tree - a tree which had a rope tied around it and the length of the rope stretched upward out of the frame of the picture. What Tha? I almost fell out right there in the bookstore. It was a picture from Out of Africa explaining some camera technique (which I didn't read and which I should go back and read). But is that not extremely weird? What does this mean?